Compromise

09:13 - 9.10.2007 - post comment

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*scratches head* I think that's Eyal presented his point in a very mature manner (btw, hi Eyal! *waves*). I suspect that I would feel exactly the same. Tbh, I don't really have an advice. Seeing old friends is definitely somethng to look forward to. Sorry, I'm useless here....

bitzky - 06:26 - 10.10.2007

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Hm I can only come up with one advice...but to be honest I think you already have taken up that advice even without me given it yet hehe.

And that is being open and honest to each other. But seems you already did that. You made it clear you want to be with Eyal and not with the ex boyfriend. Also you been honest about it you didn't hide it he is your ex and that you were invited to travel with him.Some people would do that you didn't. Eyal been honest as well saying that he will feel nervous. But he probably don't want to deny you of your friendships either I suspect.

It also comes down to trust I guess. Trust I think you two are able to give each other, in this case Eyal trusting you. Which off course is easier said then done. But I think Eyal can handle that =)

And if you affraid to hurt Eyal by going...I suspect you would make him feel guilty if you would deny yourself spending time with friends on his expance (spelled right?)

Only one last point I guess. Also be honest to the ex boy friend. Make sure you don't raise any false expectations by accident.

Seems to me..that after test one of spending time together alone last summer...this will be big test two...I am quite sure you two will pass it.

Hope this advice is of any use to you two.

Friendly huggles to you both,
Alex

Alex aka Lexius - 12:33 - 11.10.2007

my 2 cents

nuts and bolts ............. if you want to come here, do it.

if you trust yourself, and your former boy friends intentions to be platonic - come over.

if the current bf isn't happy - screw him (in the non sexual and slightly derisory way for him lacking trust in you).

(if you want to sneak off for 5 mins while here for coffee, by all means drop me a line)


i really can't think of much more to add - you want to see friends, ain't nothing to it but to do it.

wozza - 04:48 - 12.10.2007

Steam-roller

*looks up*

*blinks*

Is it me or did a steam-roller just barged by?

And stop talking about eyal and screwing...you putting bad mental image's in my head....

*coughs*

<3 to Eyal and Ann-mi. =)

Alex aka Lexius - 10:18 - 12.10.2007

:)

Thankees for ze advice. I can't believe even a single person read enough of that long rant to give it, but I am amazed and grateful nevertheless.
Alright, I'm coming then. I'm gonna get me my ticket tomorrow. YARRR! Sure, I'd love to meet up but it will have to be hot chocolate for me as I'm not a fan of coffee.

I shall not be screwing Eyal in a non-sexual and slightly derisory way, as we talked, he slept on it, and feels less stressed about it now (though he is still having weird dreams apparently.)

Alex, there is nothing wrong with screwing + Eyal in one sentence! *gives you lots more bad images*

annmi - 10:26 - 12.10.2007

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if Eyal has had a change of heart then the advice given with regard to his derision is null, and i'm glad he is seeing sense.

there are many places to have good hot chocolate :-)

wozza - 01:30 - 13.10.2007

Just to add.

I might have understood you wrong a little Wozza. But just to add I don't found Eyal's reaction that strange. It would at least make me slighty nervous too if I had a girlfriend who would go an travel to meet and spend time with an ex.

Also it seemed to me it was ann-mi herself who was considering of not going to spare Eyal nervousness. And that it wasn't Eyal telling her she couldn't.

And to make it clear and prevent misunderstandings as far as I could see it I think both ann-mi and Eyal handled the situation quite well. And I hope it works out for the both of them.

Alex aka Lexius - 01:38 - 15.10.2007

lexius -

The tone of my original comment may not have been clear - it wasn't abusive to Eyal (who i've never met and will asume he's a lovely fellah).
I was trying to re-enforce to annmi that it was her decsion and his jealousy/discomfort was his own and shouldn't affect her wanting to go.

I have remained friends with an ex - and have been in similar situations to annmi, i have seen both sides of this fence. I would not stand in the way of any girlfriend of mine seeing a friend - if i couldn't trust her to do that i doubt i would be in that relationship.
If i were uneasy that would be atleast partially rested by knowing she was meeting someone else as well.

Like i say, i mean no ill-will to Eyal, and my suggestion was light hearted that he be scorned.

W

wozza - 01:17 - 16.10.2007

Defensive

Perhaps I got slightly defensive as I know Eyal a bit.

Anyway I can agree with you on some level. I agree that if you in a relationship you shouldn't deny your patner to spend time with his or her friends.

However when it comes this friend being an ex I don't think you should take no regard of your partner and just go without talking it over and 'screw' him as you called it.

It needs some compromise and understanding from both sides I believe. And not one way traffic like...'I am going to meet my ex and that's final screw you'

As it seemed you suggested in your first post. But anyway I do agree when you say you shouldnt deny your partner his or her friends.

Lex - 11:42 - 16.10.2007

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Have fun and don't let the relationship thing overshadow the trip.

Your new blog logo rrrRRAAAAaaawwwks! :-)

thyme - 02:32 - 19.10.2007